Can’t be recalled

I have never

Kissed you

And I

Never will

And I

Refuse to

Miss someone

That doesn’t


You were


A figment

To begin


A phantom

I imagined

And you

Were much

Better in

My head

Than you

Will ever be

In reality

And even then

That perfect


The concept

Of you

Kissing me

On that balcony

Can’t be


Isn’t dreamt of


a. duncan, 2020

Post Script Notation:

This piece was composed in the middle of the night. I have no conscious recollection of writing it nor am I sure that what I was envisioning during its process. Imagine my bewilderment the following morning on discovering the note app on my phone already open with this poignant little stranger staring up at me. I’m fascinated that it’s subject matter and structure are apparently my own – yet at the same time – wholly unknown to me.

The title is derived from its eerily prophetic closing lines. Just as the figment can’t be recalled – neither can the prose.


‘Cause I know I’m not at the wheel

Video featured music: ‘The Screw Turning’ by Max Richter

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Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

8 thoughts on “Can’t be recalled

  1. I would have liked to have been a fly on the inside of your head when those words developed! What dream, or experience, or rational was your mind trying to make sense of? Perhaps it’s better that it remains a mystery and a source of wonder.
    I can imagine a vignette written around that poetic statement. Eyes meeting, tentative advances, the voice of reason, the savoring of a fantasy not experienced.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh wow! I am truly stunned to read this beauty and the postscript following it! I can’t imagine what that must have felt like. It’s like your subconscious gifted you a poem. How fascinating!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!!! Oh my god I was so bewildered Larisa. I sat there for a good ten minutes wondering what other strange things I might have done while sleeping. Had to make sure mycar was still parked in the same space 😂 I’m so pleased you enjoyed this. Perhaps my subconscious and your subconscious should have tea and fire up the ouija board sometime 🔮

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Our minds as you tend to be half asleep…the flow or instant moment of writing something that our minds is sending a message is poetically interesting and something the mind itself needs to express.

    What your mind unconsciously produced is good and spontaneity. But, let’s not forget you (yourself) felt something as well. Maybe a recollection of the past? or who knows. Point is…I love what you wrote and its truly amazing and your voice is hypnotic and beautiful like always.

    Liked by 1 person

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