Safe Distance

I loved you in ways

Impossible things are to be loved

With measured hesitation

Through hazy panes of mercury

With wafting lips allotted

To wilting shower curtains

In tidings of methodical desire

A mixture of alabaster and ultraviolet

Certain of nothing

But thirst and inevitability

Eclipsed in the dismal necessity

Of our psychological mileage

I smile, electric indigo

Subsisting on the solemn calculus

Of your unobtainable imperfection

On wretched days

With fingerless gloves and smoldering sage

With curiosity succinct as subtraction

Irresistibility is rationed

At the fleeting crux of no return

East of a muted existence

In the threshold of your ardent hypnosis

I become a starry-eyed chimera

Marred in a discreet penumbra

Kissing the satin backs

Of contemptuous tarot cards

A devotee to a discovery

That can never be

A siren to a score

That will never be settled

I loved you in ways

Impossible things are to be loved

With weathered resistance 

From a distance that’s safe

a. duncan, 2020


– Poetic inspiration in part by “Sonnet XVII”, Pablo Neruda
– Featured Song: ‘I put all that away” by Max Richter & Lorne Balfe, Ad Astra
– Featured image: Irréversible, 2002


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Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

19 thoughts on “Safe Distance

  1. April, you capture the intensity of the feeling of an impossible love. A love that exists despite confines or restrictions. A love that may exist in part due to its feeling of safeness in distance… Reading it makes me feel like I’m left standing there, hours later, still half naked in desperation, clutching at this love with my fingerless gloves, through some impenetrable pane of glass.

    Hmmm favourite lines are hard to choose… kissing satin backs of contemptuous tarot cards has to be up there. But, I do love the ‘devotee of a discovery that will never be’ vs ‘a siren of a score that will never be settled.’

    This poem unravelled me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Fitting as you inspired so much of this. So much so that several verses are spoken in your delicate, elegant intellect. And further fitting as you and your writing unravel me on a daily basis. This piece is special Rachel and your affection for it fills me with such a sense of accomplishment. Thank you for being a constant inspiration – to my pen and as one of my best friends. 🤍🦢🌊☕️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. All I can say to this is that I consider myself very lucky to have you as my friend and twin flame. And, I don’t know how you think these lovely things of me, but I’m so incredibly grateful that you do. You hold me in your mind and make me realise and think things I would never have otherwise. You’re the best 🦊🖤💝🗝

        Liked by 1 person

  2. From the very first lines, I felt this. That kind of love only serves to deplete, not to fulfill. Love is not supposed to leave you questioning your worth..something I am distinguishing succinctly presently. So so beautiful, as always, April.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely Larisa. We seem drawn to what we can’t have, or what we shouldn’t have, or what doesn’t fully appreciate having us! Yet our hearts are hard to convince. Leaving us to work through it from a far, contemplating ourselves. Thank you. You flatter me wildly as usual, darling. Xo. 🖤💋

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Katy! Thank you! What an absolutely lovely response. I so appreciate you lending me your ear and that the words resonated with you. We all love someone at some point who isn’t “meant for us”, “good for us”, etc., so to speak. But that doesn’t prevent us from loving them anyway. ♥️🍎❌

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are absolutely right in that ♥️ I have read / listened to this poem several times now and am seriously blown away by the imagery in every line. This is one I will definitely keep revisiting.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my goodness. I am literally blushing like a rose bush over here!! 🌹 Thank you, Katy. Sincerely. That means so much to me – to have the words felt and revisited. I so look forward to acquainting myself with your work soon, as well! Xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow Ken. Very astute connection you made there. When I wrote it I wasn’t attaching those concepts consciously, but you’re absolutely right. Thank you so much for listening and for pointing out something so interesting and poignant! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, April!
        I felt “Safe distance” might be conceptually related to “social distancing”.
        From a (potentially) dangerous passion, to a (really) dangerous virus.
        Both being disruptive of normality.
        (But my mind does tend to work that way. LOL! 🙂)

        Liked by 1 person

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