sophisticated chaos

the systematic sophistication of chaos

in defense of reincarnation

I was drafted in the mingling of ennui 

and half moon martini olives

drifting in the hapless mendacity

of some tepid soirée

at some darkened apartment

in some listless city

I stood in the foyer

hoping to be mistaken

for a Grecian urn

a Trojan horse

a sardonic succulent

in a postmodern vessel

and everything 

was pedestrian

everything was bisque

in the peripheral 

it was the epitome

of status quo

not to be confused

with quid pro quo

which is factually 

unconstitutional 

and an impeachable offense

it was the same white noise

over the same white russians 

when some someone 

addressed me, directly

by saying

“I get this vibe from you

it’s like— you’re an old soul”

this, a voice wholly unknown

came from some someone 

so unmemorable to me

that they can only be

recalled as some someone

for the purposes of this poetry

so on invisible axis 

I turned to the owner 

of the words

the elusive some someone

bemused at 

how randomly fitting it was

how strangely apropos

yet somehow understated 

and oversimplified

had no one told some someone 

there’s no such thing 

as nascence, anyway?

there is no infancy

in the infinite

all beginnings 

are actually continuations

and rampant are the parallels

in the paradox of the journeys

so many variables

in the try agains and game overs

the welcome backs 

and you sure about thats

the little heavens 

and little hells 

in the exponential

so this suggestion

from some someone

those two words

old soul

repetitive, really

a demonstration

of tautology

not to be confused

with astrology

which involves gazing

into a crystal ball

birthdays

making shit up

based on the sky

with doe-eyes 

more befitting

a reel of pornography

I worried, momentarily

that some someone

might be blinded 

in the white headlights 

of my past lives

incapable of comprehending

the feverish reiterations

of a woman, of a poem

the madness stirred

and sorrows cured

yes, some someone

how did you know?

I am an “old soul”

(aren’t we all?)

the intersecting timelines 

tirelessly rewritten

in the calligraphy 

of sophisticated chaos

my symbolist femininity 

prolific yet no where near

perfected

countless as embers

in the eyes of the arsonist

lost much, I have

take back, I will

with a smile

with the curve of a leg

as long as the Nile

both blessed and damned, I am

empires risen, loves fallen

winters and newborns

weddings and warnings

the truth is, some someone

I’ve died a thousand times

and I will do it again, and again… 

and again

and again

a. duncan, 2020


 

Lyrics:

I’ve been sleepwalking through the railway station
Wake me up when they call my destination
Where I’ve been, I was bound to leave behind
All device and all disease was mine
I’m speeding out of reach

Oh, you’re the one I had to meet


video song: ‘a1’ by Nils Frahm 

Posted by

Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

14 thoughts on “sophisticated chaos

  1. This was flawless, April! 😀 Sublime. Bittersweet and poignant. I’m overwhelmed with the grace and finesse with which you depict the aimless anxiety of loneliness. It’s gorgeous listening to your husky voiceover coupled with such beautiful tinkling music – weaving such a delicate spell over the audience.
    ‘drifting in the hapless mendacity / of some tepid soirée / at some darkened apartment / in some listless city’
    Such a brilliant way of portraying it – we can be in a busy crowd of faceless strangers and feel the loneliest we’ve ever been. How different might life have turned out had we chosen different paths?
    ‘both blessed and damned, I am
    empires risen, loves fallen
    winters and newborns
    weddings and warnings’
    Such gorgeous juxtapositions that really capture the endless possibilities life can offer!
    Hope your weekend has been brighter ❤ 🦊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You flatter me beyond words, Thomas. Jeez… What did I do to get so lucky in your friendship?!

      I wish I knew how to express how much your responses mean to me. I always sense your total absorption of the words and their meanings. It leaves me bewildered sometimes in how to thank you properly. Suffice to say – thank you so very, very much my little British boysenberry. 🍓🦊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Here, let me just add some reasons *unrolls entire parchment*
        • Always being there with overflowing kindness and sparkling joy to lift me through the week.
        • Being such a shining star to inspire me to keep my inner writer purring away.
        • Making me grin like the Cheshire Cat and blush like the sunset upon listening to your beautiful heartfelt recordings that always touch my soul.
        • Being such a true supportive friend and confidante to share both the highs and lows of life, through thick and thin. I’m so grateful we met! 🌸
        And many more reasons – far too many to count! 😀 ❤ 🦊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Your wondrous words never fail to make me to laugh, cry, cheer and even dream. Sometimes dream like I’ve never dreamed before.
        Love and light to you always, my beautiful CR. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Wishing you a fabulous week ahead & sending you all the warm hugs I can across the ocean. 🌸<3 🤗 Hope work goes well for you & super excited to be continuing my tribute to your crafty canidae this Friday! 😀 If you ever need a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to lean on, my door is always open xxx

        Liked by 1 person

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