II

Which you

Is actually

True?

And why

Are there

Two

Of you?

Are there

More

Of you

In store?

Even More

Doors

Than before?

How many

Encores

Can one

Girl endure?

Which you

Do you

Prefer?

Which one

Is dilute?

Is either

One pure?

Of the

Two you

That be

Which one

Is simplicity?

Or

Are they

Equal parts

Fallacy?

Are you

The metaphor

Adoring me?

Or

The hyperbole

Hurting me?

I loved

You

And

I still

Do

But

I hate you

Too / Two

So

Let me go

Both

Of you

I don’t want

To lose

The one

I need

The one

I choose

Is me

a. duncan, 2019

Posted by

Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

16 thoughts on “II

  1. I love the way you have written this, almost dainty in its simplicity and the way it glides down the page. But then, it is anything but simple, and everything in its beauty and commentary on duplicity. The many faces of one person, and the feeling that in being so, the core of that person is a fallacy, diluted, as you say. I love the lines
    “Metaphor adoring me or hyperbole hurting me”
    But most of all I love that you end by
    “The one I choose is me”

    The perfect, and obvious choice
    ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Rachel! Athena’s Echo. 💜

      As usual I am dizzy and humbled immeasurably by your innate understanding of my messages / meanings! What you just described is exactly how I wanted this piece to be experienced – simple, like raindrops trickling down the glass of an aging window. But with an ache in them. This was as liberating as it was melancholy to compose.

      There are certain people we will never understand because they aren’t… an actual person. But more like fragments that shift to meet a need. I curse myself every time I confuse a consummate opportunist for a loyalist.

      True fact: I thought of you specifically when I wrote that metaphor / hyperbole line! I imagined what you might say. You have such a way with simple, gorgeous innuendo.

      And of course we’ve discussed our pull to paradox / duality. It’s a theme that never quite leaves me. So many double edged swords in this world. (I just typed that and went whoa what a good opening line for a poem – hahaha!)

      Thank you a thousand times for your words. They inspire me 🦢

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “like raindrops trickling down the glass of an aging window. But with an ache in them.” THIS was exactly what it was like. I am beyond happy you thought of me for that metaphor/hyperbole line, but only as long as it was not me that you were thinking of within this duality! I have to admit, something I have had to personally work on is being true to myself, the solidity of my own identity and self-expression across settings, across relationships. It’s true I have been a chameleon, trying to fit in, trying to be liked or overlooked by being a blander version of myself. We are all so many things, so many shades of grey, and embody so many dualities all at once. Yes, it’s something we most definitely have in common, a love for a paradox, a dialectic, the either/or and both. “So many double-edged swords in this world” – I can’t wait to read that poem.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh – I should have clarified – the duality of the line was not about you, of course! I thought of how you would hear the line, how to make it sound as effortlessly pretty (and at the same time complex) like….. everything you write. Besides – You are far superior to vague metaphor and the incessant dependency of hyperbole that I am speaking of here.

        You are a sonnet written to accompany a solo on harpsichord!

        I’m intrigued that you have actually pretended to be blander than you are in reality to blend into situations where you don’t want to draw attention. That is something I have never considered! I can play many roles at a moments notice but none of them are inconspicuous, haha.

        You must teach me this magical skill!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh hon, it’s not something magical in the slightest, it’s quite the opposite – it’s not having the self-belief to be myself full force, and therefore toning it down, or second guessing myself. It can feel… stifling, suffocating, lonely.

        I’m better with it these days. Now, let me go about being this sonnet (how do you manage to be so effortlessly creative).

        ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      4. …. If it’s something that you do? Then to me – it’s magical. (April, hush, she gets it)

        I kind of hate that it originated from a place of trepidation. Only because I prefer you should never experience that sense of isolation or insecurity. But I also understand because you are human. The magical kind. (April literally can you not?)

        Toning down / shrinking isn’t an area of response to doubt or hesitation for me. But! Ironically. I have the exact opposite tendency. When I feel most anxious or self-critical.. I go into challenging, sometimes vainglorious, must prove myself mode.

        Re: “I am going to be so smart / charming / pretty that no one can doubt me and therefore I can not doubt myself.” Which, ha, works out great until I realize other people’s approval of me doesn’t actually increase or sustain my own. Nor should it.

        And. some people don’t like being challenged.

        And. Being perfect is impossible.

        And. When I finally break and reveal a weakness? People either don’t believe me or have been given a false sense of confidence (BY ME) in my ability to handle it myself or cope with a tragic situation.

        Interesting, isn’t it? You protecting and me projecting. Because damnit we feel things really intensely.

        Opposite sides of the mirror ❤

        It's always fascinating to me to learn about the idiosyncrasies of others. Behaviors in which one flourishes, tendencies in triumph and areas of talent, as well as the struggles and fears. It's very telling of who we are beneath the layers, but also reveals we aren't often so different. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      5. April, please, don’t hush, literally can you not, can you… not stop. I’m enjoying reveling in this, like it’s a little slice of decadent chocolate cake and I want to savour every last little bite. Of course, eaten with a teeny tiny little dessert fork, licked clean of every last little morsel.

        See, this is what happens when I don’t tone myself down!! Haha.

        Opposite sides of a mirror. I guess when faced with that you turn every which way and look closely to examine how each turn looks, your fingers to the glass.

        I’m so inspired that when unsure you become yourself in fuller force! I would love to be like that. I am definitely the shrinking type.

        Love our chats. They’re addictive. Like cake 🍰💜

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This was beautiful, April! ❤ Such simple language yet capturing a real profound truth about people. You really capture that duality perfectly – everyone has a public persona and a private persona that can be wildly different according to whom they're with. Very true what you've said about altering our expectations of someone to meet our personal needs – often we can overlook or downplay negative traits in others to fill a perceived loneliness or if we feel something's lacking in life. Love how you expressed it here!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tommmm. Thank you! This one was a short and sweet but it sort of created itself in my head this morning in a very distinct, simple design. I’m so delighted that you and Rachel like the different format. I’m such a wordy wordsmith, sometimes less is more. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I most certainly to understand the many faces one person seems to convey.

    Which is the true them? Or can we even remotely put our trust on them?
    In this day in age is difficult but, easy to observe one and analyze them through conversations and know who they really are and what they are about. If one feels uneasy around them, then they are not the true them or what?

    I love the music and it fits to well. Your style is perfectly well said and executed. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Charlie I always love seeing your comments. You are so skilled at not only absorbing a piece, but also adding to it, posing even more fascinating questions. Sometimes ones I’ve never even dreamt of. Thank you my friend. You are so inspiring to me!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Questions always need their place to make the person think and really observe their surrounds – particularly with friends.

        I’ve experienced myself people who have 2 or 3 faces. I pick up right away and see through them if I like them or not. It’s all about instinct and how they’re mannerism shows.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s