in which I defer

It is once bitten and twice shy 

The arrival of the counter-intuitive blues

It is professed in the duping delight

The ire of another November

It is the manic transference of Mother Nature

The keeper of each season’s most tyrannical secrets

It is the quiet sociopathy of snow

The isolation oft confused for respite

It is the subterranean surrender of the perennials

The punctual migration of swan

It is the tectonic shift of the subconscious

The dread underpinned by waning daylight

It is the epileptic kisses of aurora borealis

The eulogy of the eucalyptus leaves

It is the suggestion of dire ambiance

The latency of reincarnation

It is the mortician’s ledger

The caribou huddled beneath the elm

It is the botanical diagram shelved

The soon reclusive butterfly

It is the rigor of the brambles

The methodical dissection of directions

It is the deferential equator

The apothecary jars brimming with tincture 

It is the errant web clotted in dew

The sacral caress of claw foot’s porcelain

It is the assurance of that alabaster vessel

The shelter in which I defer

a. duncan, 2019


ps.   this…. song…… . . . this song is me… . . . 


‘The Snow Queen’ by Christian Birmingham… For Rachel ❤

frigid beauty

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Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

35 thoughts on “in which I defer

  1. When reading your poems, you have this really mesmerizing tone to it, it’s calming and soothing and tranquil. Like slipping into a pool of water at midnight on a hot summer night, being lulled by the gentle slapping of the waves on the shore, the crickets singing to it. I don’t know if I can sufficiently describe how your poems feel, but I hope I got a little of it across.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Larisa, I… I don’t know the words. To articulate how… absolutely special this comment is. You just melted my entire BEING. I’m serious. I have never in my life been so flattered by a description of my work and what an… utterly beautiful description it is. I don’t know how to thank you, sincerely, for making me feel so lovely. If my writing makes you feel even 1/10th as soothed as that ethereal midnight tide pool then I am very proud. ❤ <3<3

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Another beautiful piece, April! ❤ Wonderful evocative imagery you've sprinkled throughout about the changing seasons and the onset of winter – can feel the chill creeping through your words. Brilliantly vivid, especially 'epileptic kisses of aurora borealis' and 'the errant web clotted in dew'. You have such standout images that keep the reader hooked throughout. Loved this! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom, you sweet little pumpkin seed. I love when you comment that you really experienced some of the metaphor. It’s part of what I love so much about your writing – those certain lines that just pull me into a world of senses. Your support means so much to me. Thank you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure, April! ❤ It's lovely to look forward to more vibrant poetry from you with such raw powerful language – you've got a unique voice for such relatable experiences. Keep it up, you wonderful sunflower!

        So thrilled you've enjoyed the previous stories & that they resonated strongly with you. 🦊 Is there anything in particular that helps pull you into a scene and keep you engrossed in the story?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are so kind and swell my heart daily. Yes, I meant to respond to your email on that question and got pulled into a chasm of the day to day Mommy duties. I think I mentioned in the recordings but you have an incredible way of effortlessly shifting between very sensory action – suspenseful discussion or movement, and these little flashes of scenery that are often gorgeous. I get so immersed when you weave between those two approaches. It’s like your signature.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m so pleased that my writing style manages to keep you enthralled in the characters & pulls you deeply into a scene! 😀 Thanks ever so much for explaining it so clearly – didn’t realise I was consistently doing it, so I’m so glad you picked out what keeps you hooked. ❤ Really looking forward to continuing their narrative onwards – maybe from the kits' perspective next time!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Larisa has put it so beautifully and I could not agree more. Slipping into a midnight pool, immersing oneself in such… breathless and intoxicating beauty. It’s like pulling on a luxurious coat or reaching for the top shelf in a liquor cabinet. Your words are silken.

    My favourite line is:
    “…the quiet sociopathy of snow”
    I have always felt a desolate feeling from somewhere deep when encountering the barren and bleached landscape of the snow. The realm of the snow queen (or is she the witch) from Narnia, the too quiet sound of the cold air… it’s a feeling of trepidation, and rightly so from this sociopathic snow and counterintuitive blues 💜

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You and Larisa are giving me cause to blush for the remainder of the year. I squealed quietly when you said like pulling on a luxurious coat – what an elegant and specific feeling. I’m wildly flattered by the suggestion that my words invoke that sensation. I am unable to adequately express how grateful I am to wordpress for bringing you two into my creative hemisphere. Two beautiful blessings.

      Oh, that snow line, the fact you connected is incredible! I always got an unsettled sense when gazing out at that quiet, crisp ice. Beautiful, but so brutal. So bright white harboring so much… darkness. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to hear you share in that reaction. I thought it might sound strange but decided to include that observation as it goes hand in hand with the overall seasonal affect theme of the piece. I am obsessed with the snow queen / witch / villainess from Narnia. She was so cunning and she scared me but also seemed like someone I wouldn’t mind being in alliance with, haha ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I was always a bit terrified of the snow queen!! But, so intrigued by her as well. Not as terrified by her as I was by the wicked witch in the wizard of oz… she would visit my childhood bedroom on her broomstick, and stretch her bony green fingers through my windows….

        Psychopathic snow is just one of so many inspired and amazing lines. You are a poetic genius and deserve all the lavish praise ❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. There’s a gorgeous illustration of her (from the Hans Christian Anderson’s fairytale ‘The Snow Queen’, not TLTWW) by British artist Christian Birmingham that has always intrigued me. I’ll post it at the bottom of this post for your viewing pleasure! I find it such a whimsical yet intriguing depiction… She is just how I imagine her, austere yet stunningly beautiful. But Birmingham portrays her almost… aloof? Daydreaming? Subtly bored or disinterested in her own villainy. The little boy that she has essentially seduced / abducted away and holds captive in her frozen palace plays quietly before her and she sits forward, lackadaisically caressing her own neck… with a look of a dissatisfied housewife or a tired mother. It’s so fascinating!

        On another note I do not blame you for fearing that awful cackling arsenic-hue’d witch from The Wizard of Oz! She was not someone I wanted to mess with either. I believed Pennywise from Stephen King’s ‘It’ had taken residence in my closet for many years and refused to glance in its direction when the lights were out, lest I see an eerie balloon slowly released…..

        Oh Rachel. I could discuss anything with you and it feels like we’re in some Japanese tea garden surrounded by slowly cascading cherry blossoms – sharing fascinating secrets of the universe. I thank you for being such a lovely and exciting friend ❤ Your work captivates me too.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That picture!!! It’s like a glittering web of sociopathic snow emanating from the queen. You are right, her expression is fascinating, deeply chilling, nonchalant, like this is all really no big deal. The little boy…

        *pauses to pour tea with gloved hands from an intricately carved silver teapot into delicate tea cups*

        Can’t you hear the tune of the sugar plum fairy as well?
        🦢 ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Listening to your voice on audio every time. I get a sense and feel of relaxation.
    Your tone is beautifully calming and very powerful.
    The word choices like always surprise me in unexpected ways. I love it very much. 🙂

    April, so much respect for you and your super duper talented and please make a book.
    I will show support. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Charlie. Zero. The. Poet. My sweet friend. You always come in like a crescendo and leave me wanting an encore. I recently attempted to record one of your pieces and failed miserably… your word choices are above my pay grade! But my goodness so I enjoy the way you arrange them. Thank you for your sweet support – if I do an audio book I will be sure to send you an advance copy 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. April, I have good news for you. Since you brought up that you tried to do an audio recital of one of my works. Well, tomorrows post will be really different and I give you my permission to use that poem tomorrow and you can recite my work with your incredible voice on audio. Trust me…you will love it and no advanced words just me actually expressing myself and I was going through something and when I wrote the poem it made me feel depressed.

        I promise you its worth it. And I do want to hear you recite my poem with audio. 🙂

        Stay tune for tomorrow. 🙂

        You are welcome. And if I ever release my 2nd and 3rd book my next year I’ll send you free copies of my books, including my first book. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m a wee bit late to this post….

    “It is professed in the duping delight
    The ire of another November
    It is the manic transference of Mother Nature
    The keeper of each season’s most tyrannical secrets”

    November – the harbinger of winter, and one of the reasons I dislike the fall. Your poem is a pastiche of all of the events the snow queen reveals to us. Stunning.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rob, aw, thank you. No worries on the lateness. I was in self imposed exile for a stint, after all. This is such a lovely and thoughtful response. I happen to love the fall months – but life, as always, has a thread of tragic irony sewn into everything. So while I consciously adore the crisp air and deep jewel colors of the falling leaves …. my subconscious chemistry recognizes this shift and says, “oh good it’s autumn. time to feel hopeless and claustrophobic!” haha… but truly your words in response to this are as poetic as the piece itself. “the harbringer of winter”…. gorgeous. You do know how to make a girl smile, sir.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha, there was nothing in your recent comment that was specifically Freudian. I just meant in general, you are very clever at weaving together ideas with …sexier ideas. And sometimes coincidentally.


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