retrofit

My coronary compass remains 

In a state of westerly paralysis

Engraved in gregarious golden rods

Faded script

‘ad perpetuam memoriam’

Such is the ineffable directional

Within me

It points to a sanctuary city

My mecca of youthful unrest

Where I laid for days in a fetal shape

Consumed with the earthen taste

Of malbec and kinky sex

You were mine

Long before I owned a gun

My hands were virginal then, to recoil

And yet—

The debauchery that commenced

Behind your gates

Such a bittersweet zeitgeist

That I have never been able

To replicate

Oh, San Francisco

How I romanticize you in retrospect

A mercurial mosaic

In pastel autochrome

At my sole discretion to curate

Journals taped with dried petals

Plucked from platinum tendrils

Erratic thoughts and blackened bars

Volumes of which

Brim from my inner cable cars

I tend to you

With such delicacy

Even though you failed me

A city that provides

A kind of cocaine come down

That lingers years into sobriety

You were the ghost orchid

The bonsai, of my life

Such fragile stems

Where I left myself

To waft like lingerie on a clothesline

The breadcrumbs of my being

Until the day the earthquakes came

And I was forced to drift

So now in memory, I invest

Ever so lovingly, to your retrofit

a. duncan, 2019

Posted by

Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

15 thoughts on “retrofit

  1. I’m not sure how you manage such sweet and delicate laced with such grit and viscera. I love this:

    “It points to a sanctuary city
    My mecca of youthful unrest
    Where I laid for days in a fetal shape
    Consumed with the earthen taste
    Of malbec and kinky sex”

    I want to follow your coronary compass.

    You’re brilliant ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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