Failure of Appraisal

“But mathematics is the sister, as well as the servant,
of the arts and is touched by the same madness and genius.”
Marston Morse

Numbers had always been the enemy
My least favorite absolutes
They’re non-amicable exponentials
Adversarial fractions
Codependent coefficients
Periphery, skulking bitterly
In the grand accounting of things
I told myself what laid before me
Could not possibly be larceny
But there was no denying
The deceits I had deciphered
He was indeed a forgery
In human form
Imagine my terrible surprise
When the ‘adding machine’
Revealed the breadth of the crimes
The extent of the emotional embezzlement
Cherished investments falsified
A failure of appraisal
Buried deep in the decimals
It was judgement day
And trust, a double edged sword
Had swung both ways
It suddenly made sense
The lingering bewilderment
The suspicious transmissions
The rabid instinct to reassess
The receipts, the receipts
Had held their symmetry
Close to the vest
Before coming clean to me
Without apology
They finally confessed

a. duncan, 2019


 

Don’t know who I’m close with
Going through the motions
Don’t know who to trust when I…

I lie to myself and I, I can’t handle it
Why do I waste so much time on things that I can’t fix?
Thought that I could let this go
But I ain’t know that it would be like this

NF, “Like This”

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Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus || Love is rich with both honey and venom

7 thoughts on “Failure of Appraisal

    1. Hahahaha. Thank you!! Yes, like you, I too am terrible at math. Always was. I’m a words girl. And that’s how the metaphor came to me.

      Writers/poets have a tendency to think more with their hearts, as opposed to their heads. A year ago if you’d asked me I would have said that’s how it’s supposed to be. Logic and math seemed… inorganic, to me. Love and loyalty shouldn’t be quantified.

      I have since learned that there needs to be a balance. Thinking purely with emotion, we lose track of the things we invest. Time, love, trust. If we aren’t on some level accounting these things – we open ourselves to counterfeit.

      Liked by 1 person

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