past tense

she mattered in moments, in afterthoughts and orgasms

she mattered in battles, in breakdowns and fits of boredom

she mattered in winters, in lunacy and self imposed ire

she mattered in mistakes, in theories and intensities

she mattered in trials, in drunken smiles and demises

she mattered in backgrounds, in postponed requitals

she mattered in controlled chaos

in contra, in tantric metaphor

in redemption, in verses

she mattered in sustainable madness

in temporary disguises, in delirium

in tempests, in crisis

in brilliance, in belated goodbyes

she mattered in fields of poppies

in tepid confidence, in revelry

in alliteration, in anarchy

a. duncan, 2018

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"She would fill endless notebooks with stories about the characters in her life, their impressions, words, friends, lovers, inspirations, fantasies. She spent her days dreaming up worlds where they fit together in visions; the if only, the never again, the someday. Those who knew her best would describe her as a creature with a clear and sometimes painful sense of herself; furious with ideas and convictions, to a point that she frightened love away with discernment and a relentless strength of character."

11 thoughts on “past tense

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